The Toga Walk Of Shame

You know, life can be unfair. I have spent most of mine towing the line but on the odd occasion, yeah my rebellious nature kicks in and I will do something that maybe I shouldn't, and yeah I probably should know better. But hey - why do I always seem to get caught out ! My partner will then take the morale high-ground and ask 'what was I thinking' to which I will sheepishly reply 'I don't know'. Well what else can you say in those situations.

I remember on one occasion as a kid, all my friends were playing a game of sticking, then subsequently removing, little stones from up their noses (why?). So of course I followed suit but, yes, mine was the only one that got stuck. (My spatial reasoning has never improved much - you should see me attempt to park the car!) I then had to go home and explain to my bemused parents, how the stone got there. My mom then lay me on the bed and emptied pepper into my nose, I cried, we waited for me to sneeze....

nothing...

5 minutes later she emptied some more, I cried again, we waited for me to sneeze....

Nothing....

it never worked.

My dad then decided to prod and poke at my nose, I cried some more - but this thing was never going to budge! My mom was frustrated, my dad was frustrated, I was now howling, frightened and frustrated, thinking the only answer would be to amputate my nose.

The 4 of us, my brother now in tow, made a trip to the local doctors surgery.

Can you begin to imagine the humiliation of sitting in that busy doctors surgery, with at least 30 adults looking at me mystified, with this stone firmly wedged up my right nostril. We finally, after waiting what felt like a lifetime, all trekked into the doctors room. My mom explained what had gone on, the doctor looked at me disapprovingly for a couple of minutes, in a way only doctors can, and guess what....

I sneezed....

the stone blew out at such force it hit the doctors desk, landing 5 inches away from his chest. The relief....I could not express! No-one but me felt it - I could tell by their frowns.

Why this story? Well, I was recently reminded of the humiliation I felt during my 'stone incident' with a article I read a few days ago. It really made me laugh. It was about a man from Massachusetts who threw a toga party last year, got arrested for drinking underage, making too much noise, and having an unlicensed keg.

His punishment? To wear a toga for an hour whilst standing in front of the police station! Oh way to go, oh the humiliation - boy after the 'stone incident' do I know how he feels.

But it got me to thinking that for anyone out there in the process of learning how to make a toga you really need to think about the possibilities of were you may end up wearing it, and make sure you adapt the design to suit!